East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
