So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
