return my video game
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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