you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
