remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize