There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
