i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
