I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
