Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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