he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
