He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Randomize
