I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
