Ketchup is God's man juice
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
