We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
