There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
