Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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