Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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