So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
