My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
