Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Semen is not good for contacts.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
