I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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