He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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