When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
