can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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