Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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