They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
