before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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