I'm laying in your front yard are you home
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
