her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
