just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
