you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize