my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
