I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
