when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
