I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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