she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize