just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
