I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You've changed since you got that strap on
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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