I puked a lego.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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