Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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