its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
