But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
