i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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