I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
