New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
