you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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