Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You're completely useless in the revolution.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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