in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
