____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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