somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
