my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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