I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
