I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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