Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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