hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
