I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
