i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
