Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Your penis caused this!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
