I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
