I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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