Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
