I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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