wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
