she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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