I murdered the dance floor call the cops
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
