Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there's paper in my vomit.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
