is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
