So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize