It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
