the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
